I often hear this lament from clients, and it can be a real challenge to overcome. Let’s face it. Our parents raised us without many of the safety precautions that are generally accepted as the norm today. They survived without seatbelts and smoke detectors not to mention advances such as bike helmets and airbags. Although we cannot imagine a life without some of these, it is understandable that our parents may not appreciate the necessity for say a toilet latch. Your challenge is to empathize with your parents’ reluctance, but also to succeed in getting them to make some safety modifications.

Many grandparents have the mindset that their children survived just fine without extensive babyproofing, why should they do anything differently for their grandchildren. To their defense, most grandparents are not aware of how many children didn’t survive in their time. Whether by drowning in unfenced swimming pools, poisoning from unsecured chemicals or medications, strangling in dangling window cords or falling from balconies or windows, news and statistics of such tragedies were not kept or communicated as efficiently then as they are today.

So, after empathizing with their reservations, how do we move toward making changes? You have several strategies from which to choose including logic, guilt, ultimatum or just do it for them.

Logic – Do some research regarding the particular hazard(s) with which you are most concerned and present some statistical evidence. For example, if they are reluctant to fence their pool, let them know that drowning is the leading cause of preschooler accidental deaths in California and 75% of preschoolers that drown were missing for less than five minutes. You can even mention that a toddler recently drowned in a matter of minutes at her grandparent’s home in Woodside in a fountain while the mother was installing a carseat.

Guilt – That’s right. Your parents are expert at making you feel guilty, this is your opportunity to turn the table on them. Simply making reference to how bad you would feel for them if a tragic accident occurred at their home that could have readily been prevented.

Ultimatum – If your parents refuse to address critical hazards, it is your responsibility as a parent to not leave your child there. Many grandparents respond favorably when they realize that the safer their home is, the more time they get to spend with their grandchildren.

Just Do It – Matter of factly, take the initiative and get it done. Do it yourself at your expense. Your parents may not buy-in to the need, but they will often allow it to be done if they don’t have to do it themselves. Alternatively, you can hire a professional to do it for them. Doing so has the additional benefit of bringing an objective and expert perspective to the table and a guarantee that the work will be done in a professional and expeditious manner.